How to build self esteem and keep life crisis from affecting your physical and emotional health. Use this case history for developing your approach to building self esteem in a child self esteem can be easily developed from what you learn in this case history.
John was referred to me by his psychologist for relaxation and motivation. John was seeing the psychologist for building self esteem and self image and at the age of 28 felt that he was losing ground. This feeling of "losing out" contributed to his level of anxiety which made him tense and irritable.
John's psychologist's program for building self esteem and overcoming low self esteem focused on John acquiring technical training to develop a skill.
Of all possible skills, John choose to become a technician in a metal shop and enrolled in a program. Even though everything he was shown in class made sense, when it came to test time, his level of anxiety interfered with his ability to obtain respectable, much less passing grades. He was in jeopardy of failing when he was referred to me.
The psychologist's approach was the typical, "accomplish something, acquire something," and you'll be building self esteem. Yes, it's the approach used in 100% of all programs for overcoming low self esteem that I've seen. You are supposed to be able to overcome low self esteem by getting better at something.
Unfortunately, this is a "catch 22" approach--a set-up for failure. I'm not saying that everyone who uses this approach fails to accomplish the goal of acquiring a skill or educational level, but this approach does not build self worth or self esteem. It's a set up for failure. Building self esteem is a myth with this approach.
Look around. Most of your friends, family, and
acquaintances have been building self esteem based on their accomplishments and
acquisitions.
Unfortunately, the person who overcomes low self esteem and builds it largely:
• on his fortune, often commits suicide when his portfolio is lost in
the stock market crash.
•on the love of his wife
may become depressed and acquires
life-threatening cancer within 2 years of her passing and then dies himself even
though he was in fine health prior to her passing.
•on his position in life
often becomes depressed and acquires a life
threatening disease within 2 years of his retirement and dies.
•on the his social contacts and accomplishments
may develop
anxiety and panic attacks when he moves to another part of the country.
•on his physical skills becomes
has a greater chance of getting seriously depressed and likewise may acquire a life threatening disease when he has an incapacitating accident or is
replaced by younger, stronger athlete.
And we can go on and on. For each person building self
esteem based on an accomplishment, an ability, physical appearance, and
so on, he/she feels good about himself/herself for as long as his/her skills, abilities,
and accomplishments remain in tact. Yet when their skills, relationships,
accomplishments and so on change, they lose themselves in the process. Is this
self-worth? No, it's "things' worth," not self-worth.
In the face of all adversity and loss, the person who has truly been building self esteem does not lose himself, but by knowing his true value, is able to adapt and change to all life circumstances.
Back to John
It was indeed a challenge getting John out of his failure path. More so because
the psychologist set him up for failure--the psychologist actually set the path
for him to stay stuck with low self esteem. Eventually
he got up the hill and over
the crest. He learned to overcome his low self esteem, not by graduating machine shop
school, but by learning to deal successfully with disappointments and to like
himself regardless of his disappointments.
If you truly want to be building self esteem on your own inherent value as a human being rather than one based on your accomplishments (not that you won't accomplish many things--you will), the Building Self Worth program is right for you--a 2 cd set for just $39.90
Building Your own self esteem gives you the direction for building self esteem in a child self esteem made easy.
If on the other hand, you recognize yourself
caught in the trap and suspect you're undergoing a life or mid life crisis,
order the complete 2 cd set Over Come Life Crisis Program for
just $29.90. $19.95
Key words:
low self esteem
building self esteem
building self esteem in a child self esteem
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