How to Build and Improve Self Worth
the "Right Way"
(free article below)
Overcome Low Self Esteem


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How to Build Self worth the Right Way 

We are honored for you to reprint the following article as long as you make no changes to the article and publish it along with the author's resource box with no changes.

Building self worth is done one of two ways. Unfortunately most of us do it the wrong way. Following is an example of a psychologist doing it the wrong way with a patient, John.

John was referred to me by his psychologist for relaxation and motivation. His psychologist was working with him  for building self worth and self image. At the age of 28 John felt that he was losing ground. This feeling of "losing out" contributed to a heightened level of anxiety which made him tense, irritable, and affected his concentration. .

John's psychologist's devised a program for building self worth by having John focus on acquiring technical training to develop a skill.

To build self worth, John choose to become a technician in a metal shop and enrolled in a program. Even though everything he was shown in class made sense, when it came to test time, his level of anxiety interfered with his ability to obtain respectable, much less passing grades. He was in jeopardy of failing when he was referred to me.

The psychologist's approach was the typical, "accomplish something, acquire something," and you'll be building self worth. Yes, it's the approach used nearly 100% of all programs for overcoming low self worth that I've seen. You are supposed to be able to overcome low self worth by getting better at something, acquiring a degree or certification, getting to know the "right" people....

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Unfortunately, this is a "catch 22" approach--a set-up for failure. I'm not saying that everyone who uses this approach fails to accomplish the goal of acquiring a skill or educational level, but this approach does not build true self worth or self worth. It's a set up for failure. Building self worth becomes a myth with this approach.

Look around. Most of your friends, family, and acquaintances have been building self worth based on their accomplishments and acquisitions.

Unfortunately, the person who overcomes low self worth and builds it largely:

• on his fortune, often commits suicide when his portfolio is lost in the stock market crash.

• on the love of his wife may become depressed and acquires life-threatening cancer within 2 years of her passing and then dies himself even though he was in fine health prior to her passing.

• on his position in life often becomes depressed and acquires a life threatening disease within 2 years of his retirement and dies.

• on his social contacts and accomplishments may develop anxiety panic attack when he moves to another part of the country.

• on his physical skills becomes has a greater chance of getting seriously depressed and likewise may acquire a life threatening disease when he has an incapacitating accident or is replaced by younger, stronger athlete.

And we can go on and on. For each person building self worth based on an accomplishment, an ability, physical appearance, and so on, he/she feels good about himself/herself for as long as his/her skills, abilities, and accomplishments remain in tact. Yet when their skills, relationships, accomplishments and so on change, they lose themselves in the process. Is this self-worth? No, it's "things' worth," not "self-worth."

In the face of all adversity and loss, the person who has truly been building self worth does not lose himself, but by knowing his true value, is able to adapt and change to all life circumstances.

Back to John: It was indeed a challenge getting John out of his failure path. More so because the psychologist set him up with expectations that would lead to failure--the psychologist actually set the path for him to stay stuck with low self worth. 

Eventually John got up the hill and over the crest. He learned to overcome his low self worth, not by graduating machine shop school, but by learning to deal successfully with disappointments and to like himself regardless of his disappointments.

Building self worth the right way is from self is something you do every day. It's to realize that:

 Comparing ourselves to anyone else is to kill self worth

 Some of our best laid plans will simply fall through through no fault of our own or through fault of our own--it doesn't matter. .

 We are emotional beings and rather than be ruled by our emotions we can acknowledge them and move through them.

 We each are a child of the universe deserving of feeling good about ourselves regardless of what we do or don't do.

 We only feel less about ourselves because of what we've learned to believe.

 Love of our physical, emotional, and spiritual self is deserved and until we can love ourselves, it's unlikely that another can love us.

 Egotistical people really don't love themselves.

 Out of every fallen plan or disappointment is an opportunity to somehow:

     • Benefit from it.

     • Move beyond it.

     • Learn from mistakes.

     • Truly forget about it.

    • Let it go.

     • Profit from the experience.

And then, most importantly, self worth is something you build everyday by assuring yourself that when things:

 Work out as planned, you like yourself, and that you are a fine person;

 Fall through and you're disappointed, upset, angry that you embrace the emotion and likewise like yourself--that you are a fine person regardless of the outcome. Do this daily and feel your self worth grow.


Resource Box:

Richard Kuhns B.S.Ch.E. NGH certified, a prominent figure in the personal change field. His aim is to make it possible for anyone to improve and build self worth.
For more information please visit 
He has several websites with self help materials:
Self help mp3 downloads for you personal change and improvement plan at
How to Build and Improve Self Worth at
Stop Binging and Comfort Eating at
Over come panic disorder with agoraphobia at
Pendulums for self discovery at
Special Diet for Morgellons and Skin Parasites at


Part I and Part II are the bible for building Self Worth Cd#1 $24.95 

Part III and Part IV is the magic of keeping the self worth that you build everyday by becoming your own best friend and discovering means by which you can profit from disappointment. $24.95

The complete Program, parts 1, 11, 111, 1v on 2 CDs   $49.95 

Get Rid of Self Esteem Blues E-book   $21.95

Total Value: $71.90 for just $49.95

Choose whether you want the self help mp3 downloads or the actual Cds

Digital Download Version
Physical Cd Version


Click here for the five things you need to know about building self worth and the approaches generally used.


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