|Internet Dating for Dummies Like Me,
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Dating at the Speed of Light—How to Stop Being a Cyber Space Wall Flower and Get the Most out of Internet Dating--for both men and women of all ages.
It's estimated that 40 million Americans log onto internet dating services each month to find an online relationship and Match.com (one of the more popular matchmaking services), alone boasts a membership of 15 million. I joined match.com because a couple I work with found each other on match.com. I was recently separated and getting no where with the dating scene which for me included the singles' dances and business networking groups. Seven months passed by and I only dated one person six or seven times.
Initially, with zero guidance and no previous experience online dating with match.com provided no instant gratification for me. The only difference was that I spent lonely dateless nights searching hours for my match, and with the few responses that I did receive that led to an initial meeting, I made serious mistakes with each one and never got beyond a peck on the cheek.
Six months later, I'm glad to report, I was getting so many emails from potential matches that I rarely had enough time to respond to them because my date book was full and pecks on the cheek were saved for my mother. This e-book will move you from a cyber space geek wall flower like I was to dating at the speed of light (if you wish) or if you're just wanting to find the right person, it'll take you there too as it did for me. For me it took almost one year to find Nancy, my match. She was much better at internet dating than I was as it only took her only one month to find me. And she promptly put me in the stockade so I couldn't escape.
But let me retrace myself. To find that right person, you may well need to date a dozen prospects—perhaps two dozen--in which case you may want to date at the speed of light in order to find that person before you turn 100—not that 100 is a bad age—it just might not leave a lot of time to enjoy your match.
The goal is to have fun every day being single and this online dating ebook provides you the tips to accomplish that. NO, I don't suggest latching onto the first prospective match and see that person every night of the week. You'll just shoot yourself in the foot and come across as needy and desperate with no life. That's the reality! In the Judy chapter she shares her story that demonstrates this. Use this internet dating book to save a ton of money dating have fun three to seven days/nights a week.
Women internet dating: Ladies, if you want to find your match, this ebook dating advice gets you into how men think so you'll gain full appreciation of how to bring out the best in your match and not lose him to another woman's wink.
You're probably thinking, "Well, if I had the looks, I'd have no problem." When you see my photos, you'll agree that I don't have the looks women fall for either, yet, how you present yourself determines your results and that's what the book is about—getting the results you want. And sure, even with the best of looks, you can still strike out and be very lonely if you don't know how to capitalize and follow through on your search for love.
And you're probably thinking, "I'll just join and let things develop from there." That seems like reasonable thinking and I must say that I echoed that thinking when I first joined. What I learned since then is that there are hundreds of frustrated women and women on the service who keep seeing the same "group" of men or women show up on their searches. They literally are waiting for you to join and you only get one chance with them before you're a member of the "group." The tips you find in this e-book enable you to make one or more of those frustrated women/men happy as opposed to being like the horse that must catch up in the back stretch.
This dating advice ebook online is about the magic of relating with the opposite sex so you both feel good about yourselves and what to do to determine if it is or is not a match. It's about how to stop wasting time and money, avoid stupid costly mistakes, have fun with your internet relationship and get real results as internet dating has become one of the most popular and quickest means to meet others ever discovered.
It's also a dating advice ebook online for men internet dating who don't want to go broke buying dinner for women. Appendix A reveals a tremendous alternative to expensive restaurants that not only saves you money, but is far more romantic than any restaurant can be and preferred by nine out of ten women. This one tip will save you the cost of this e-book ten times in just a few weeks. Not that you won't ever go to a fancy restaurant, but it'll be because you want to and not because you feel obligated. Every man, no matter how inexperienced can become an instant expert with this alternative.
This e-book also explores the various traps in Internet dating that can waste your time and cause you to lose real prospects .
Traps such as:
• The grass is greener trap: Yes, this trap really can keep you from getting to know anyone.
The independence trap: Women today are very independent and have redefined the role of men in their lives. You'll want to know about the new role for which you've been redefined.
The Don't take charge trap: "What do would you like to do honey?" can sink your boat. Do women want to make the choices or have men take charge?
The abundance trap: With so many to date, who needs to answer emails or return winks?
The cocky trap: You had three dates with the same person and think, "I found my match and I should stop the service." Really?
The sex trap: Men and women have the same goals, but different agendas. If men think like men, they will be very disappointed 85% of the time and visa versa.
The commitment trap: Jumping in too soon can leave you flat.
The Friday/Saturday night date trap: Do you need a date on Friday or Saturday to feel good about yourself? It's about how to keep your self worth from being negatively reduced if you don't have a date on a weekend.
The procrastination trap: Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Why call today when you can call tomorrow?
Look stupid trap: duh!! When did you say your birthday was? How to keep a little fact like that from sinking your efforts.
The break up trap: Breaking up is no longer hard to do and you'll want to know how to avoid being the dropped one and how to break up gracefully yourself.
Only Interest Trap: Today, most potential matches are not looking for couch potatoes.
The lazy trap: All you have to do is join and sit back and wait for your emails and winks? Really? This section is what you need to do to get results.
The too old trap: Do many 30,40,50,60 year old women/men still look hot? Should I expand my search to include older potential matches?
Assume the computer does it all trap: It's easy to rely on the computer service to send you prospects.
The Recently Divorced Trap: How what you share about your recent divorce that can sink your boat.
You'll also lean what it means when you email someone and you get no response. Or why someone would date you for months and break it off without an explanation.
And what about rules: Absolutely!!! They make dating work.
Have fun rule: Why tease and when not to tease.
The movie rule: the wrong movie may cost you a potential relationship.
And how about some required skills such as:
• Tarot cards
• Palm reading
• Story Telling
Analysis: a great technique to get to know him or her. Find out if she is defensive or a nut job from whom you want to run ASAP.
Kissing: when to take that first kiss. That's right—you don't ask for it. You don't move close and hope your mouths will meet. You just take it. Sounds bold? Not really, you take it when it's least expected and most wanted. Guaranteed that if you follow the advice in this e-book when to take that first kiss, you will not get turned down and you will receive, "you're really a romantic, aren't you?" from your date and have broken the ice to kisses forever and ever. You won't end up going out with her on ten dates before you get enough nerve to kiss her. This technique is faster and quicker and more effective than you'll find the dating gurus giving you.
And what's more, if you're starting the internet thing, you're most likely going thru some kind of crisis and if that's the case, this e-book will guide you in keeping you past from interfering in your "now."
The e-book is chock full of real emails and an analysis of why some work and some don't work.
And why limit yourself to this country. Find your perfect beautiful young woman abroad. This book tells you how and where to locate her and the tell tale signs of a rip off along with the actual emails from a rip off artist which alone could easily save you over one hundred times the cost of this e-book.
In the Appendix B you'll find a listing of the more well known and the not so well know services and an occasional comment made by someone I met or dated who tried the service or my observation from using it or trying to use it—not all are user friendly.
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Before the Internet
Left to my own devices, I'd be lucky to meet one candidate in a year to date. I'm an average looking guy and I don't do bars—not that they are bad—I just don't do them. I did some single dances. And even though I know that every one there is there to meet another single, my brain just doesn't function well with loud noise—the best excuse I can give. I'm not a total wallflower so I do usually find a dance partner, but starting and continuing a meaningful conversation beyond, "where do you live? Go to many dances? Have any children? What kind of work do you do? is just beyond my skill level. And it seems that as you're carrying or shall I say attempting to carry on a conversation, she's scoping out the dance floor to see who else is there and guess what, I'm probably doing the same thing. Plus my dancing needs some fine-tuning. I'm noticing many of the hustle steps I learned 20 years ago, just aren't used today. My friend tells me to break the ice by using slow dances to whisper things in their ear and then suggest going away from the dance floor to talk. Sounds like good advice, but what do I whisper is the question?
I did networking in a professional network organization hoping to find another single person. The few singles I met either were already in a relationship or just weren't interested.
I attended Ala-anon for a year for three basic reasons:
1. discover why I attract needy partners
2. discover why I'm a co-dependent
3. hopefully find a relationship
and then sometimes just to be around people to soften my life crisis. I reasoned that all the women are helpers and it might be good to have two helpers in a relationship—poor logic. Most women were so afraid of relationship that it was even difficult to get them to go for a cup of coffee. Of course there are interest groups, church groups and the like, but I'm not a joiner—not my style.
Internet dating, on the other hand, fits my style. It is certainly different than regular conventional dating. Conventional dating is how I met my last wife 7 years ago at her place of work. She was much younger than me and I simply discounted her having any interest in me since I was eleven years older. I really wasn't looking for a date—at least that's what I told myself. In speaking with her at her place of work, I learned that she was divorced with three children around the ages of my son. I was hoping to develop relationships for him so he'd always be motivated to come for his visitation with dad.
She wanted to get to know me before we introduced the kids so we went for lunch. She had a headache that day and I ended up being back lit (the sun shining from behind me) which aggravated her headache. She ate slow like a bird—very slowly as she picked through her salad. Conversation was minimal and dull. I figured it would be the last time we met and had no intentions of calling her again.
But remember, left to my own skills, I'm lucky to meet one new person a year and I still wanted to develop a relationship for my son so guess what? I called her again thinking we can get the kids together. Much to my surprise, she wanted to go out again. I forgot where we went or what we did for the second date--it was nonplus and boring to say the least. And again I wondered why she simply doesn't have the kids get together. A few days passed and I called her again. And, much to my surprise she wanted to go out with me again and I wondered why? I expected a dull boring date and just hoped we'd get the kids together in short order but I was beginning to give up on the idea. We went to a popular restaurant for dinner and suffered some polite conversation. It was still early when we finished dinner and I asked if she wanted to see a movie or get a bottle of wine and go to her place. Having read that movies are not a great place to get to know someone, I guided her to the bottle of wine.
I figured we'd go to her place, have a glass or two of wine and say good night forever. We had a drink and conversation began to flow. Then touching began to happen and what happened next is left up to your imagination and we ended up getting married about a year later.
This generally won't happen on Internet dating. I'm not saying it was ideal by any stretches of the imagination, but the result was that two people with three dead dates pulled out a marriage out of the hat. It's like a baseball game in the last of the ninth inning losing 10 to zipo with two out and putting together a winning rally.
And now today, even though she and I divorced for many good reasons, I'd probably have done it again for the few things that did work in the marriage and the 30 chapters I wrote about living in the confusion of a child of an alcoholic. That's another book.
Why won't this fairy tale happen with Internet dating? Simple! With Internet dating, you'll be meeting on average one-to-two new people a week and if you're not, then you really want to read through this e-book for you're doing something seriously wrong.
Internet dating is like dating at the speed of light. With the potential for meeting two or more new people each week, if you have a boring evening with someone on the first date, there's most likely not a second date and no fairy tale. The downside is that it's a challenge to get to know anyone well enough to pursue a real relationship and this e-book gives you the tips on making that happen.
The only thing that keeps one from Internet dating is some basic fears. Yet these fears aren't just limited to Internet dating. One fear that women have is that she'll meet Jack the Ripper. The reality is that you could meet him at a dance, in a grocery store, at your doctor's office, on the Internet, or…. There's no proof that you'll have a higher tendency to meet undesirables on the Internet than anyplace else—unless you're getting into the perverted kinky sex services. In fact, because of the in-depth profiles you complete, you are most likely to meet a more savvy person than at a bar.
Then, there's the concern that the people you meet will be fat when you're looking for thin. Carol, who was a member for about a year, did meet one person who only had a close up head shot in his profile and when she met him, he had a 450 pound body. You learn to avoid this by requesting full body photos. She also met a man who was a financial advisor and wanted her to write him a check at the end of the meeting for an investment he was pushing. And another guy got a phone call from his wife in the middle of his interview with Carol.
My experience and most of those I met have not had these kinds of experiences—they are more of an exception to the rule. I'd say that most of the people I have met actually look better in person than their photos show. And the advantage of Internet dating over the personals in the newspapers is simply no comparison. If you use a recent photo of yourself, you won't be subjecting yourself to show up at some diner, wait for 20 minutes in the waiting area, and then realize a woman walked by 15 minutes ago, glanced at you, and kept on walking.
This e-book is about how to position you so you generate interest and can likewise "fish for relationship" and get interest from others. It's also about how to deal with the little girl or boy in the candy store. There's so much candy and you're so hungry that you want to sample all of it, but not know which candy to start with you can end up with none or get so darn sick from sampling all of it you never want to eat candy again..
The computer is an amazing instrument. Complete 30 or 40 minutes of questions and it can match your profiles with literally hundreds of prospects in your neighborhood. And there's no question as to whether these prospects are available—they are or they wouldn't be spending on average of $30/month.
Yet, as great as it can be, there are some traps that can make it a nightmare. First we'll look at getting the most from your profile—how to create it such that a special person will contact you, and then we'll look at the typical traps into which one can fall. We'll look at the value of photos and the do's and don'ts. And then how to communicate with winks, emails and how to get responses. And of course, the next step is to establish communication and there will be valuable tips on the phone call and the first meeting. And it doesn't stop there. We'll look at the dilemma of dating two or three people at the same time and when to take the plunge to a monogamous relationship.
Unless you're a guy, before you begin to invest time and money completing the questionnaires and pay your fees, make sure you have at least 4-to-10 digital photos that each show you in a different pose or setting. Even though I highly recommend that guys also have the same amount of digital photos, it's not nearly as important as I explain in Part IV of the book.
All of this and more in this e-book--a $39.95 value for a limited time, it's just $19.95. You'll want to read and reread it several times as your life unfolds for even sometimes--even when you think you got it going-- things fall apart for life is often more about the plans falling through than it is about the plans we make.
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If you read the e-book and find it of no value, simply request a refund and you will receive it—no questions asked.