Self Esteem Crisis
(article below)

Tapes/Cd's for Weight Loss Hypnosis Self Help

Audio Tapes (Home)

About the Programs

Catalogue of Programs

Stress Management

Panic and Anxiety Attacks

Lose Weight

One-to-one Counseling


Coral Calcium
Xooma-Xtreme Water

Xooma Earning

Nutritional Products

Carreer  opportunities

Link to this site

Self Help Resources

Panic & Anxiety

Link to this site

Improving Self Esteem--Overcome Low Self Esteem--Build Confidence
 The complete program, parts I, II, III, & IV on two cd's for just  $39.90.

Save money--this program is included in the following series:
Executive Advancement Series
  Overcome Panic Series
  Personal Freedom Series
  Dealing With Rejection
Weight Management Series 
  Self Esteem Series

Key Words
self esteem, building self esteem, self image, overcoming low self esteem, self worth, overcome low self esteem

Overcome Low Self Esteem
Improving Self Esteem

Please note: If you order two or more of the series listed to the left, you may substitute any other program/s in this website for the duplicate self worth program (up to two cds per series). Simply note the program/s you desire in the comments portion of your paypal order. 

Self Esteem Crisis 

There is a self esteem crisis. And its because of our limited educational system. Yes, in addition to physical education, social studies, mathematics... there should be a course in building self esteem. But then, little would be accomplished unless the course fostered building self esteem the right way.

Just how do you instruct one in building true self esteem the right way? Let's create a picture of someone who has self esteem. One with self esteem feels good about oneself regardless of bad hair days. Sure they may be unhappy with their appearance at any given time, however, it doesn't make them feel badly about themselves.

The one with self esteem is sensitive to other's feelings and yet does not let other's feelings (even though they may be negative or critical) detract from one's self worth.

The person with self esteem will make mistakes just as anyone else; the only difference is that the mistakes will not detract from one's self esteem or how they feel about themselves. Those without self esteem often wallow in the mistakes and feel badly about themselves even to the point of self put-downs.

The one with self esteem can feel badly about the mistake and say, "I made a lousy mistake and am unhappy about it," and free of it affecting how one feels about self.

One with self esteem also has humility, is interested in others, and likewise a giving individual. You won't find them bragging. They are sincere in their capabilities, do not exagerate, and are honest with themselves.

How does one get to this point of self esteem? First, it's recognizing that one can be free of other's opinions affecting how they feel about themselves. That one can have bad hair days without it affecting how they feel about themselves; that one can make bad mistakes without feeling badly about oneself. Or that one can be rejected--feel badly about the rejection and be free of it affecting one's self esteem.

A good place to start is to observe from the above model where improvement is required. Then using affirmations such as, "I am a confident worth while person," is a great start or an affirmation that is more specific such as, "I am a worthwhile individual even in the face of rejection." Certainly a great start for any salesman or someone who goes through many relationships.

Next is to become one's own best friend by learning how to manage one's negative self limiting thinking. One can actually take negative self defeative thinking and make it work for one's benefit by acknowledging the negative thoughts and using option statements.

Another important part of building self esteem is to learn to embrace all emotions, move through them and actually benefit or prosper from any and all emotions. They are only bad if one says so or resists them. What stands in the way of us embracing or feeling emotions is what Dr. Isacc Rubin, author of The Angry Book, calls sealers--beliefs we each have about why we should not feel emotions. When we learn to embrace and feel emotions we can say, "I'm unhappy about the (anger or depression or rejection) that I'm feeling. I'm disappointed with the outcome of the experience and I still like me as opposed to putting self down for having made one or many mistakes. By choosing to like yourself, your creative brain can actually somehow profit or benefit from the experience.

But why, when there are so many programs available for improving self esteem building confidence, the shortage of those who have self esteem? Why are our lives still often run by what others might think? Its clearly insane to continue teaching one to build self esteem the same old way when the results of such a misguided approach are so poor. Building self esteem from self produces real results in building self esteem.

--end of article--

Richard Kuhns B.S.Ch.E., NGH certified is a prominent figure in the field of stress management and personal change and He aims to redefine how we build self esteem. To find out more please visit

Building Self Esteem cd Program

Part I and Part II are the bible for building Self Worth Cd#1 $24.95 are the bible to building self worth 

Part III and Part IV is the magic of keeping the self worth that you build everyday by becoming your own best friend and discovering means by which you can profit from disappointment. $24.95


The complete program, parts I, II, III, & IV on two cd's for just  $39.90.

Five things you need to know about building self esteem and the approaches generally used.

1. Many programs focus on having you acquire skills, achievements, change you physical appearance, develop a talent, additional education, and so on. Building self esteem on something you can acquire can set you up for a big let down, life crisis, and loss of self esteem because these things are not the essence of you but superficial. Make sure the program you choose is not superficially oriented. While you certainly will accomplish many things, when you build self worth the right way, you will never be at risk of losing your self esteem. While talents, skills, accomplishments and so on may come and go, you want your self esteem to be impenetrable

2. Many programs emphasize affirmations. While affirmations are important, they can be rejected too. Make sure the program you select to build self worth goes beyond affirmations. My program actually shows you how to overcome affirmation rejection.

3. Evaluate goal setting. Yes, many programs use the approach of setting and achieving goals to build self worth. While it's ok to have and achieve goals, goals in themselves can be a catch 22 in building self worth. Should you fall short of a particular goal, your self esteem is in jeopardy. My program doesn't require any goal setting to build self esteem. While you may have and achieve many goals, your self esteem is not dependent on them.

4. Many programs only educate the thinking conscious mind. This approach could take forever. The limbic (emotional brain) lags behind the reticular (thinking cognitive brain). When you choose a program, make sure that the program nurtures the emotional brain otherwise, the thinking brain gets smarter and you get simply frustrated because you just can't seem to put the material into action. My program uses techniques to bring the emotional brain up to date to agree with the new information the thinking brain is receiving. My program focuses on closing the gap between the emotional and the thinking brain.

5. Few programs utilize the power of hypnosis and subliminal suggestions and those that do, may not tell you what the actual suggestions are and what's worse the suggestions may be counter productive. For instance, many use a suggestion such as, "I am not going to feel badly anymore." Because of how the brain processes words, this suggestion focuses on feeling badly and is therefore counter productive. Or they may use a complex suggestion which is useless because the subconscious doesn't process complex suggestions.  My program gives you two powerful hypnotic sleep programs and each subliminal suggestion used is audibly listed before the relaxation begins.  

Improving Self Esteem and Build Confidence

In my experience of conducting stress management programs and counseling for over 20 years, I found that roughly 99% of those I've worked with felt that they had low self esteem. How could this be? Simply the causes of low self esteem are that most of us have been taught to base our self-worth on our accomplishments, skills, physique, financial worth and earnings, ability to help others, and so on. Little wonder then when we:
   • lose skills because of injury;
   • lose a close family member on whom we're very dependent to the great beyond;
   • lose our financial nest egg because the stock market collapses;
   • do poorly in a course of study;     
   • have a bad hair day; or 
   • don't live up to our own expectations... 
we don't feel good about ourselves and our self esteem and self confidence are challenged. Ultimately, this may jeopardize our health, emotional well being, set us up for failure mechanisms, be constantly trying to impress others, identity crisis, suicide, chronic depression, and so on. 

Why, when there are so many programs available for improving self esteem building confidence,  the shortage of those who have self esteem? 

The answer is that if you analyze all the other programs, trainings, and techniques for overcoming low self esteem or building self esteem in women and men, you'll see that they actually create the path to easily put your self esteem and self confidence in jeopardy with the first calamity that comes along in your life. 

Most programs for improving self esteem or building self esteem either instruct you to use affirmations that simply may be rejected by your subconscious. Sure they may fire you up for a short period of time but in a few weeks the affirmations will be forgotten and you'll return to the same fundamental question about your self worth. 

Or, as a psychologist did for one client, (take the link for an example) the programs instruct you in improving self esteem by improving some specific skills, i.e., get a better job, a better education, some kind of specific training, attain some achievements, and so on. Sure, with improved skills, more friends, a better job, higher education, and specific acknowledgments for achievements you will feel a sense of self esteem--but, in my experience in working with hundreds of clients, it's cosmetic at best. That is, the moment the unexpected crisis occurs that threatens or worse yet wipes away your accomplishments, attained stature, physical abilities, employment, and so on, you may well be left with a lousy feeling about your self esteem. In other words, if you put all the other programs to the test, you'll see that they set you up for failure, and the effects on self worth is temporary at best.

This is the one program that goes beyond you ever needing to be dependent on you having accomplishments, connections, an education, physical abilities, physical beauty, a certain weight, a high paying job, physical beauty, behaved kids, your ability to spell... In fact this program shows you how to build self worth and self esteem free of requiring accomplishments or having to believe any affirmation. Not that you won't create accomplishments, wealth, great looks, friends, a higher education, a great career or whatever--you just won't need them or be dependent on having them to feel good about yourself to overcome low self esteem. 

How is it done? 

First, in improving self esteem or building self esteem, it's important to observe (not criticize) the sources of your role models' self esteem. It's important to also observe (not criticize) where your self esteem has come from in the past, i.e. what makes you feel good about you and what you need to feel good about yourself. Thus you'll understand the psychology of self worth and the causes of low self esteem. 

The next step in restoring self esteem is to meet your own best friend. So if you've ever thought that you are often your own worst enemy, this portion of the program is particularly valuable because it introduces you to "you," and creates the path by which you easily become your own best friend.

Now, how do you handle emotions? I mean feelings of anger, uncertainty, confusion, frustration...? Self criticism in the past may have eroded your self esteem. This program helps you to flip over negative emotional experiences and empowers you in building self esteem through your experience of any emotion that life can throw your way.

Part #1 lays a foundation for suggestions for improving self esteem building self confidence. It gives you the easy a,b,c's for improving self esteem. It is educational in nature for your conscious mind. And even if you never listen to Part II which is a relaxation hypnotic program for reprogramming the subconscious to a strong healthy self image, the easy a,b,c instructions in Part #1 will get you there all by itself.

Part II is for your subconscious mind. Do not listen to it while driving a vehicle. Part II has suggestions for  your subconscious mind for restoring self esteem improving selfesteem. This side also has subliminal suggestions (suggestions that are below the audible range). Take the link to learn about the power of subliminal suggestions.

The revised expanded program also includes:

Part III which lays a foundation for being your own best friend, brings your emotional brain up to date, and provides an incredible means of turning disappointments into benefits to profit from disappointments. In other words, you will learn how to make the best tasting lemonade from the lemons that life sometimes throws at you and feel good about yourself—keep your self esteem--in the process. This is the bible, so to speak for dealing with and handling emotions. Emotions are the challenge of the twenty first century. Why, simple. We’ve had twenty centuries of denying and pretending emotions aren’t important. And yet, we’re emotional beings—the primitive limbic brain is the emotional brain. Emotions were there long before language and centuries later, we’re really very little better off handling emotions than we were centuries ago. We generally learn how to ignore them, pretend they don’t bother us, or to act them out. In fact it’s our poor abilit! y to handle emotions that keeps psychiatrists, psychologist, therapists and many doctors in business. Yes, poor handling of anger and rejection can lead to depression which in turn can lead suppression of immune function—auto immune disease and even cancers. Or instead of poor handling of depression leading to depression, it can lead to heart disease.

Tony Robbins in his Get the Edge program devotes an entire cd to understanding emotions. He suggests that there are many reasons we have emotions and that it’s important to process each emotion—the purpose and result. Ultimately what he suggests isn’t very different than what psychologists and therapists have been doing for the last two hundred years. The problem with this approach is that it’s attempting to quantify something literally happens at the speed of light. It’s attempting to use the rationale brain to control the emotional brain and there just isn’t sufficient time to accomplish this goal. It’s simply an impractical means of handling emotions.

Part III is based on techniques popularized in the Erhardt Training seminars of the 70’s and 80’s and The Angry Book by Isaac Rubin psychiatrist. Rather than understanding emotions, it’s in the experience of them through which we gain a handle on them and then can profit or in some way profit from them. It becomes more of a three step dance or three frames of a cartoon as opposed to six to ten different analytical reasons for each possible emotion. Instead it is through this three step process that is the same for each and every emotion that we have which allows you to stop the process at any one of the three steps being free of any analytical processes to do so. It is truly the most effective method and advanced thinking to deal with emotion! s available--one that empowers you to meet the challenge of the 21st century—handle all emotions in a healthy way and feel good about yourself no matter the outcome.  

This is the bible, so to speak for dealing with and handling emotions. .

Part IV, complete with subliminal suggestions, is for nurturing your subconscious mind as you sleep. This is what accelerates the process of building self worth, being your own best friend, and turning disappointments into benefits.

Value. What about value? Other programs on the market, even though they may put any self esteem that you develop at risk, require as many as 6 cassettes and cost well over $200. What they generally do is teach you to be dependent on having things or accomplishments to maintain self worth--a hollow self worth. This is one program that is aimed at improving self esteem building self confidence (magical in nature) and dismisses all the myths about building self worth for a mere fraction of the cost of those other programs. 

Building Self Esteem Parts I and II are the bible to building self esteem. 

Part III and Part IV is the magic of keeping the self worth that you build everyday by becoming your own best friend and discovering means by which you can profit from disappointment. $24.95


The complete program, parts I, II, III, & IV on two cd's for just  $39.90.

Key words: 
improving self esteem 
build confidence
building confidence
Overcome Low Self Esteem
Misspellings: selfconfidence selfesteem


Home       Catalogue of Programs   Stress Management    Weight Loss  Pendulums 
 Panic & Anxiety   Coral Calcium

Kecom">Keyword Map of the Internet


©Copyright 2003 Stress Management Institute, Middletown, NJ all rights reserved.